new life 1

After received a shock and unacceptable news, i really wanna collapse already. Really cant accept it. No warning at all. Is it like people said: 暴风雨的前夕会特别的宁静？If got signing or can tell me earlier, then i will be more prepared. Maybe it is not so hurt. Anyway, i already prepared for the worst situation. Hahax... maybe this is law of attraction also. what i think and prepared finally happened according to my wish. Hm.... next time should think more positively. Think of earn more money then i will be rich! Yeah!


 I don't know that i can be so strong. recover period shorter than i expected. Maybe i'm also not love him so deep as i imagine? i already treat him as part of my family? Even thought we are not couple but as long as he is there then i will be okay? Or since from the beginning we already seldom go out and contact with each other so i'm also used to it without him? I also don't know what is my actual feeling. But i really very sad, heart very pain, like someone stab my heart with knife and cut it piece by piece.

But thanks to him. He teach me so many things. teach me how to be independent. Is it he wanna train me to be independent before he leave me? So many things now i can do with my own already. Friends that seldom contact also start to contact me and we become very close already. Get an opportunity to ask my brother support me financially.  Lolz.... More time for my own work and no need to think so much, more time for friend and more time to learn new things. I will start to learn how to cook from my beloved mother, learn how to dress myself , etc. Wow! so many plans. Gonna busy in this 4 months.

I cut my hair short already. Feel very flesh and relieve. Will start my life again. this time will be a totally different of me. Even though i had scarified a lot of things for this relationship. I hope i wont regret it. For time being, i still need time to calm down myself. I don't know how to face him after this. He is a good guy, just cant accept his attitude dealing with our relationship. I hope after some times, i wont angry, hate, or love him anymore. maybe just treat him as a normal or very "superficial" friend. 

s善待别人也善待自己。
珍惜眼前人，你永远不知道你自己或别人什么时候会离开。